Shien's song
by SNAKES ON A PLANE
Summary: When Hakkai's limiters fail, Gojyo suffers the consequences. In responce to a PM from Shien.


Lyrics are by Amy Lee and Evanescence. Saiyuki is copyright Kazuya Minekura and Tokyopop. I only dabble.

This fic posting is at the request of the author Shien who told me I obviously had never written a song fic before. This fic shall be continued elsewhere. Sorry that you don't like yaoi dear Shien, lucky for you this fic contains very little, though the whole story is more along those lines, flame away if you wish.

By: SNAKES ON A PLANE

Rating: pg-13 for horror

Summary: Hakkai's demon side breaks through with disastrous results.

It was the wee hours of the morning, and the only thing Hakkai counted as a blessing was that Sanzo somehow remained asleep, or was faking it, so as not to expend any precious energy.

They had been on the road for days, and Hakkai refused to stop to rest as they were all running low on food, tempers and tensions where high and of course an argument between Kappa and Monkey was not surprising.

"You're on my bladder you stupid Monkey, wake up or I'll pee on YOU!"

Goku stirred at his companion's word, "Aw common Gojyo, just five more minutes."

"I said get your filthy head off me!" He pushed Goku's head so fast Goku had no chance to prepare and his head hit the floor of the jeep with a 'crack'.

"Here we go again!" said Hakkai from the driver's seat, he slowed Hakuryu to a stop and looked back at the bickering boys with an almost annoyed look on his pleasant face, "Please don't do this you two. Gojyo get out and do your business and Goku…" Hakkai got out of the Jeep and got a bedroll out of his pack "Put this down and use this to sleep on instead of our Kappa friend okay?"

Gojyo leapt out of the jeep in one smooth movement, "I'll be back in a sec." He disappeared into the trees.

"Let me help you get comfortable Goku."

Hakkai maneuvered the roll so there was enough room for Gojyo, but still enough for Goku to be reasonably comfortable on.

"What about you Hakkai?" said the monkey with a yawn, "Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I caught a few winks earlier this morning," Hakkai lied with his usual smile and a fond ruffle of Goku's hair, "Don't worry about me Goku, just get some sleep."

As soon as his eyes where closed he was passed out and Hakkai's legs chose that moment to give out, he held on to Hakuryu for support and only went down part way.

He knew something was wrong with him that went beyond lack of food, but he didn't know what it was and there was no one to tell even if he did. He was the strong one; he was the one who never complained. Sanzo would just think his complaint stupid and maybe begin to whack him with that damn paper fan. Gojyo and Goku would mother him and worry, and that was not something Hakkai was comfortable with.

He heard Gojyo coming and forced himself to crawl back into the driver's seat.

"Ready to leave Gojyo?"

"You bet bud, let's go."

"Could you idiots keep it down? I'm trying to sleep!" Sanzo growled.

Before Gojyo could retaliate, as he most certainly would have, Hakkai said, "We're sorry Sanzo-sama."

The weak and exasperated apology seemed to do the trick for both sides and as Hakkai started up the jeep they both drifted off to sleep again.

"Kya?" Hakuryu chirped.

"I know, I'm sorry little one," he fed some more chi into the jeep, "That's all I've got Hakuryu I'm afraid we're in rather dire straits, just do your best okay?"

"Kiya," came the exhausted reply.

"Thanks buddy."

The morning found them three miles from a town, but Hakuryu had no more energy and Hakkai feared giving him more chi, afraid that he would fall into a sleep from which he would never wake. He didn't know if that thought was borne from reality or lack of sleep and food.

He woke the others and had Hakuryu transform back into dragon form so he could carry him on what promised to be an extremely painful journey.

"FOOD!" Goku exclaimed excitedly, "Yay! I can't wait. I'm gonna eat so much I won't be able to see my feet."

"Damn it monkey that's gross."

"Not as gross as what you're gonna do I bet."

Gojyo grinned, "Yep that's right. A woman and some quality Liquor."

"Either you both shut up or I pump you so full of lead you won't be able to do either," said Sanzo holding his head. The lack of food gave him a nauseous headache and the endless fighting didn't do anything to aid it.

"Now now everyone," said Hakkai with a smile, "Let's get going, the sooner we get there the sooner we can get a hotel, some food and maybe a shower."

"Yeah and the sooner I can get some time away from you jack-asses," Sanzo said huffily as he took off down the road Hakkai had found at 5 that morning.

"What? We're going to walk?" Goku said eyeing the sleeping dragon in Hakkai's gentle arms.

"Yes Goku, Hakuryu needs rest."

"Didn't he sleep when you did?"

Gojyo and Sanzo shared a look, but it was Gojyo who spoke, "The Dragon hasn't had any more to eat than you have monkey and he had to haul your sorry ass around all night."

"But he slept right?"

Hakkai sighed, loosing patience, "Please Goku, just walk."

"Fine," Goku grumbled, "No one tells me anything."

_Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself...maybe I'll wake up for once, not tormented daily defeated by you, just when I thought I'd hit the bottom..._

_I dive again_

_I'm going under_

_Drowning you_

_I'm falling forever_

_I've got to break through_

_I'm going under..._

Hakkai somehow made it all the way to the inn, though not without some difficulty. He was having a hard time breathing, but managed to sign them all in as the boys went for their rooms.

His hands where shaking as he tried to unlock the door, but after the third try he finally got it to open and he collapsed onto his bed with a sigh of relief, Hakuryu beside him.

He stared at the ceiling and Gojyo's face passed suddenly, unbidden into his mind. He closed his eyes and rolled over onto his side. His whole body ached deeply, through the bones. He could never remember being so tired. Ever since that day in the rain.

"This trip is a nightmare."

"Kya?" asked the dragon wearily.

"No I don't feel well at all."

He stood to unpack his bag and a sharp pain tore through him; he choked back the scream that tore at his throat, clawing to be let out. His legs gave out again and he fell, managing to land half on his bed. It felt like his head was going to rip in two. He could hear Hakuryu squealing in terror somewhere above him.

He felt his body shudder, his mouth open as if to scream, but he couldn't get any sound to come out.

It was then he felt it moving beneath his skin, his eyes few wide, the demon was trying to break through.

"NO!" He screamed, "NO!"

He clutched at his limiters; they were all three firmly in place.

And it was that moment Gojyo knocked on his door, "You okay Hakkai?"

"I'm fine Gojyo."

"You don't sound fine."

"Gojyo stay out," Hakkai managed, his voice pinched, "The door is locked and I really don't want you to…" he made a small, involuntary choking noise as the demon smelled Gojyo's scent. _Oh Gojyo, you couldn't pick a better time?_

"Hakkai!"

"I'm fine Gojyo, please go away…onegai."

"Like hell I will: open the door!"

"I can't…"

The sound began to swirl around his ears; it felt like sinking and being stretched at the same time, it was sheer agony. He roared and arched back off the bed to curl on his side on the floor. If he was transforming, it had never hurt this much. The limiters burned on his ear. He didn't dare touch them; terrified of what he might do to the friend who was screaming something at him and from behind the thin door.

"Gonou!" That broke through.

The demon paused, listening. "Gonou, are you listening to me! Let me in!"

Hakkai fought, Hakkai struggled, but the youkai got enough hold to yank the limiters off and pull him into a standing position moving toward the door.

"Gojyo, don't make me…" he said in a voice that was not his own. It was low and menacing, quiet with anger. But it was still Hakkai pleading.

Hakuryu flew into his master's face, clawing, trying to stop him from getting to the door. A clawed hand swiped at the small creature, sending the poor dragon into a wall with incredible force. He fluttered to the ground like a butterfly, and lay where he was, unmoving. Gonou stared at the small white bundle of fur and wings, and somewhere knew he had just done something unforgivable. He screamed in rage at himself. But his bloodlust was beyond his control.

Gojyo had heard the plaintive kyu's of the dragon, and the growl, thump and complete silence that followed. He never claimed to be the smartest of their little group, but he knew this was bad.

"Hakkai! Open the damn door!" He roared. And unexpectedly got his wish, as the door was ripped violently off its hinges and a clawed hand grabbed him round the throat and thrust him violently into the opposite wall. And so here he found himself staring strait into the slit green eyes of Cho Gonou.

The shock of the quickness of the move temporary made him forget that he couldn't breathe. He began to struggle in the demon's grip, knowing it was futile. Gonou had him by the throat; his toes dangled above the ground.

"You killed her," The demon growled in his face, and Gojyo was uncomfortably aware of how large Gonou's fangs were. The youkai sensed his distraction and shook him slightly.

"You killed her," he repeated. Gojyo blinked at him stupidly. The oxygen deprivation was really starting to hurt him, he clawed at Gonou's deceptively strong hands, trying to get a breath to speak.

The youkai released his grip slightly, posture still tense, Gojyo's feet still weren't on the floor.

"Hakkai, who did I kill?"

"Kannon."

Gojyo's crimson eyes widened and he stared at the transformed but familiar face of his friend. There was pain in the green eyes.

"Hakkai, your sister was killed over 4 years ago by Yakugen Mao."

"You LIE!" Gojyo felt the grip tighten again.

"Hakkai, don't…" his air supply was once again cut off. He caught a sparkle over Gonou's shoulder…the limiters…. He looked to Gonou's face to see if the green eyes and keen mind had seen him see them. It didn't appear so.

_Sorry about this_, he thought and kneed Gonou in the groin. It was enough of a shock for the demon to drop him and he made a mad dash for the limiters.

Gonou was on him the instant he felt his fingers slip around the small pieces of metal. The youkai tackled him, and he hit his head against the floor so hard it stunned him. The demon looked down at Gojyo, with his red hair spread alluringly about his tan face. The red eyes looked up at him, clearly terrified, clearly in pain. This face was familiar to Gonou.

"Hakkai…"

That name! That infuriating name! The youkai growled, punching the half kappa across the face as hard as he could. Gojyo felt blood in his mouth as his teeth cut into his cheek. He had to get the limiters back on or he was going to die, there was no doubt in his mind. Something had ticked off the youkai very badly and now Gojyo was going to pay for it.

Before he could make a move to slip them back on, Gonou had him pinned against the wall again, by his neck. Gojyo struggled ferociously.

He was dead. His next thought was a strange one; who was next? Sanzo and Goku, neither of them were strong enough for this fight.

"'Kai…stop it…" he gasped out.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

There was pain, lots of pain. Gojyo realized with a shock that Gonou had just punched his hand clear through the kappa's midsection. They stared at each other for a moment and it was hard to tell who was more shocked. Gojyo reached out a shaky hand and replaced the limiters before the hand of death came and took him gently away.

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies, so I don't know what's real and what's not._

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head._

_So I can't trust myself anymore. _

All the noise from this fight had, of course stirred the monk and his monkey. Sanzo had told Goku that if he ever heard strange sounds coming from Hakkai or Gojyo's room to stay out. He didn't know exactly why this was, but he was fairly sure he didn't want to see Gojyo having sex. The kappa had explained it to him one night, when they had been sharing a room, and Goku was interested, but not interested enough to want to see it first hand. And he had no idea why Hakkai wouldn't want him in his room, but too much time without contact from either of them made him curious enough to go looking for them. Knocking on Gojyo's door got no reaction. Hakkai's room was open, so he pushed at the door.

"Hakkai?"

"Goku," Hakkai's voice was barely above a whisper.

The monkey took that as permission to open the door and when he did he let out an involuntary scream of shock.

"What happened!" He took it all in for a second.

Hakkai was hovering over Gojyo's prone form. There was blood everywhere. Hakkai's pale arms where buried in a deep stomach wound on the Kappa.

"HAKKAI!"

"Goku, go see if Hakuryu's alive."

Goku scanned the room for the dragon, and ran to the dragon's side.

"He's breathing tough, what's wrong with them, you guys get attacked?"

"Yes."

"By who? Did you kill the guys who did this? Are they still around?"

Goku picked up Hakuryu gently.

"It was me. I did it."

Hakkai could feel the golden eyes on his back, it made him want to cry, but Gojyo's life was slipping through his bloody hands. There was panic in Hakkai's throat; he had put this hole in Gojyo with his own claws. He was beginning to realize that he was a threat to his companions.

Goku had enough sense not to say anything about this. He knew the pain of knowing that he had hurt someone. Rubbing it in wasn't going to help.

"Are you going to help Hakuryu?"

There were tears in Hakkai's voice when he answered, "I have to save Gojyo first."

"Can you do it?"

"I don't know. The bleeding won't stop."

Goku looked over Hakkai's shoulder, "Is he gonna die?"

Hakkai sighed, concentrating on his chi, "He may."

"What're you gonna do?"

"Put him back together the best I can, and hope that he survives."

"Should I go get Sanzo?"

"NO! I'll fix it. Go take care Hakuryu."

"What should I do?"

Tears clouded Hakkai's vision; "Bring him here for a moment."

He put a bloody hand out and Goku placed the dragon under it. The small creature gave a squeak of pain as he was moved and Hakkai couldn't look at him. He poured some healing chi into the small dragon, trying to fix the damage he had inflicted on the small body.

"Go give him a bath, keep him warm. Be very gentle Goku, like I know you can be," Hakkai still did not look at them. He kept both eyes focused on closing Gojyo's wound.

"Go, Goku. He'll be fine."

"Hakuryu or Gojyo?"

"Both…go, Goku please."

"Yeah okay."


End file.
